


you are the songs i dreamt but never sung

by blackkat



Series: KakaShisui Drabbles [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fix-It of Sorts, Huddling For Warmth, Introspection, Light Pining, Love, M/M, Mission Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 08:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16364399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: “No more Snow Country missions,” Shisui says fervently, and a tremor shakes through him so hard Kakashi can barely make out the last word.





	you are the songs i dreamt but never sung

“ _Underground_?” Shisui says. “I'm not a _squirrel_ , how about no—”

Kakashi pulls him in without waiting to hear the rest of his protest, since he doesn’t care enough to listen. Not when they only _just_ managed to lose their pursuers, and it’s pure luck that the hillside is sturdy enough to take a Doton jutsu without starting a landslide in this weather.

“You are the closest thing to a human squirrel I've ever seen,” he says dryly, and a hand sign seals the entrance behind them as he hauls Shisui down into the tiny hollow. It’s too low to stand up in, and if Kakashi stretched out his arms he could probably put a hand on either wall, but it’s safe and out of the way and completely hidden except for a narrow crack to let in air, and Kakashi’s willing to call that a success.

Squished up against his side, Shisui makes a squeaky noise of protest that actually does nothing to disprove Kakashi’s point. He’s shaking so hard it’s a surprise he even managed that much, though, and Kakashi is absolutely bewildered to be on the other side of the chakra exhaustion equation for once. He hesitates, but—

“No more Snow Country missions,” Shisui says fervently, and a tremor shakes through him so hard Kakashi can barely make out the last word.

They're closing in on dawn, and the sky outside is bright enough that a bit of extra light will probably go unnoticed even if the Kumo squad _does_ stumble over the top of their hiding place. Kakashi shifts, pulls Shisui back until that lanky body is pressed right up against his chest, and shapes a hand seal in the air in front of him. A breath brings fire curling to life, and Kakashi has enough chakra to spare to keep it alive, hovering in the space above them.

“Easy,” Kakashi murmurs, because Shisui is stone-stiff in his arms, tense even as he trembles, and Kakashi doesn’t know if it’s because his captain just decided to practically hug him or if it’s just because it’s _Kakashi_. He hopes it isn't, but there's no time to worry. Or, at least no space to pay attention to the worrying he’s going to do anyway, because getting Shisui stable is more important than his comfort right now. Kakashi leans into him, curls over him and wraps his arms around Shisui's chest, tucks his face into the curve of Shisui's neck and tries to ignore the brush of silken-soft curly hair against his cheek.

The Uchiha normally run hot. Obito was the source of a lot of silent competition, on their team, to see who got to sleep next to him on missions. Rin usually won, but Kakashi still remembers the rare times they sandwiched his bedroll between theirs, the sheer heat of his skin. Shisui normally runs the same, warm to the touch no matter the weather, but right now he feels a little too cold. Their packs are lost, along with their cloaks, and Kakashi’s feeling the bite of the air himself. He breathes out against Shisui's skin, gets a soft, almost desperate noise in answer, and then Shisui is burrowing back, practically flattening himself against Kakashi’s chest. He curls his long legs up like he’s trying to fit in Kakashi’s lap, but he’s too tall, and Kakashi has to hook his legs around Shisui's shins, trying to give him that one extra bit of warmth.

“Thanks,” Shisui breathes, curling his arms over Kakashi’s, sliding their hands together. Kakashi very definitely doesn’t think that they're holding hands, just wraps his fingers around Shisui's slender ones and hangs on.

Another shiver shakes through Shisui, and he closes his eyes, makes a sound that could be laughter except for the way it catches in his throat. “You—you're the one with the info,” he says. “You should keep moving—”

“I'm not leaving you behind,” Kakashi says, and the words come out mild even if they burn his mouth like acid. A lesson learned too late to save the most important things, but—he’s saved Shisui. That’s more than enough.

Shisui is silent for a long moment, still except for the tremors that are equal parts cold and exhaustion. “You should have,” he says finally.

“You came back for me,” Kakashi reminds him, and the memory of Shisui crashing into the holding cell makes him smile just a little. Overdramatic, but—he’s an Uchiha. It’s probably a biological imperative.

“If we want peace with The Land of Iron—”

Kakashi thinks of his father, thinks of his sacrifice for his teammates. He breathes out, and it’s a little rough, a little shaky as he turns his head, presses his nose into Shisui's hair. He smells like open air, with a touch of embers underneath, and Kakashi breathes him in, lets himself have this one thing just because he wants it.

“My comrades are more important to me than peace,” he says, and it’s something he decided on a decade ago, faced with Obito's sacrifice, the knowledge that they had to continue moving, destroy Kannabi Bridge. They didn’t even have time to dig Obito's body out, and Kakashi had lain awake on their trip home, stared up at a sky that felt too big, too heavy, and thought _it won't happen again_. No more wars that are more important than individual lives. No more choosing the right thing over the _good_ thing.

In that moment, Kakashi had known _precisely_ what his father felt on that Suna mission so long ago. Had known, understood, agreed without hesitation. There have to be other factors to start a war besides one person’s action, and Kakashi is selfish. If he lets a comrade die, he’s never going to be able to look at himself in a mirror again, and he doesn’t want to live like that.

A ragged laugh breaks Shisui's silence, and he turns, curls in. Kakashi doesn’t let go, just tugs him in closer until Shisui is entirely curled against his chest, his head on Kakashi’s shoulder, and he’s still shaking but he’s smiling, too.

“How can you even say that with a straight face,” he complains, and those pretty dark eyes slide open, flicker up to Kakashi’s face and hold his gaze. “The village—”

“The village wouldn’t mean anything to me without the people in it,” Kakashi says quietly.

Shisui pauses, expression twisting, mouth curving. There's a long, long pause, and then, very quietly, he says, “Oh.”

Kakashi can't resist the urge to slide his hand into Shisui's hair, to tangle his fingers in soft curls and feel the way they slide across his skin. “Oh,” he repeats, amused, and Shisui makes an indignant sound but closes his eyes again.

“I just…hadn’t thought about it like that,” he says and there's a shadow in his face, something torn and frayed, tired but with a seed of new hope that he’s clinging to.

Something fierce and hot curls in Kakashi’s chest, so warm that if he could press it into Shisui’s hands he’d never be cold again. “I’ll never leave you behind,” he says before he can stop himself, but the words make Shisui's breath catch, and when he glances up his gaze is drowning-dark and a little wild. He swallows, and Kakashi curls his fingers against the fragile curve of Shisui's skull and tugs his head back down onto his shoulder.

The shiver that shakes through Shisui makes his teeth chatter, but it’s lighter than before, less bone-deep. Their hiding place is warming, full of flickering light, and Kakashi tightens his arms, feeling Shisui's weight against his chest, the bony length of him, tightly wound and always on the edge of motion.

“I want to see the village like you do,” Shisui whispers, like a confession.

“Then do,” Kakashi tells him, as if he needs permission. But it makes something in the line of Shisui's spine ease, lets him relax into Kakashi’s hold just a little more, and he breathes out, low and relieved and strangely vulnerable.

Kakashi isn't going to let anything happen to him. Not on this mission, and not any time after. He makes the promise to himself, and knows that he’ll do anything at all to keep it.


End file.
